I don't know what's worse these days, sleeping or being awake. My sleep is filled with dreams I do not like and my wake is filled with reality I do not like. I can hardly sleep anyway. I can't get to bed and when I finally do, I end up waking up early. I'm starving but when I try to eat I feel so incredibly sick. I drink but it doesn't chase the demons away anymore. I smoke until my throat is raw and my head is spinning. I watch the planes as they fly over my apartment and I wonder to myself, who are they and where are they going? The clouds are so gray and thick and I have a hard time differentiating if they're real or just in my head. I listen to the complete silence that fills my apartment and it's too loud. There is just nothing left.
I'm still here.
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