Dope and diamonds

I woke up 30 minutes ago and I'm already wishing this day would end. Everything is feeling like an uphill battle and the sad thing is that all I've managed to do is make coffee. Sometimes I really do think that I died that night and this is just my hell. I am the complete opposite of ok and nobody even knows. I want to rip myself open and watch all the bad things pour out of me. My mind feels like a cement truck, constantly turning mush that serves no purpose where it is. I just want to scream until I can't talk anymore. My feet are stuck in concrete while the water continues to rise. Everyone else can move just fine. I can't save myself.

Help me.