So yesterday I had this brilliant (ha) idea to weigh myself. Ugh. As if I needed more proof of how disgusting I am. I immediately threw up what little I had eaten then went to the gym to start day 1 of couch to 5k. I'm so fed up with how huge I've gotten. Now I have to eat even less and work out at least every other day. I need to drop 70 pounds ASAP. I fucking hate myself. At least I'm a pound less today than I was yesterday.
I also hate how needy I am. Like seriously. It's weird and I hate it. Why do I crave people caring about me? I don't understand it. I recognize what's happening but I don't know why it's happening. And I definitely don't like it. Ugh, my stomach hurts because I'm hungry. GROSS. Doesn't my body understand that I don't need any more food? I had a glass of soymilk this morning and a serving of pretzels this evening. THAT IS ENOUGH, FAT IDIOT!
Oh yea, I learned how to crochet today. It was frustrating at first but then I got the hang of it and honestly it's pretty cool. Might be even cooler than knitting. Hmm. Go figure.
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